Episode 75, scene 6.

     [Dr. Claire Morton goes to the office of Rev. Jerry Bedford.]
     [Dr. Claire knocks four times.]

JB:  Come in.

     [Dr. Claire comes in the office.]

JB:  Claire.
CM:  Hello, Jerry.
JB:  Come in.
CM:  I'm not disturbing you, am I?
JB:  You have just given my faith in prayer a tremendous boost.
     I was sitting there, praying that there would be some legitimate 
     interruption so I could stop this agony.  And a Miracle . . .

JB:  Sit down.
CM:  What agony were you referring to?
JB:  My sermon.  How do you like it?

     [Jerry shows her a blank page.]

CM:  Looks pretty thin.  What are you going to talk about?
JB:  Everything.  All the terrifying things that are going on in 
     the world today.  How everyone is a part of them whether he admits 
     it or not.  Whether he wants to be in it. 
CM:  That's powerful.
JB:  Guess that's what stopped me.  I not only have to write it.  I have 
     to deliver it.   Have to convince my flock that they can't just 
     stand there, they've got to do do something about it.  While I just 
     stand there safe and secure in my pulpit. 

     Like that old service joke:

          The young eager lieutant busily loading the landing 
          craft.  Everyone marvels at his calm because they're all 
          scared to death.  And then when the boats are full, he 
          turns to them and says, "Men, I wish I could go with you." 

CM:  And that's the way you feel?
JB:  Only, I don't know whether I'm happy or sad about being left on the 
     beach.  
CM:  Strange.  You always had such crazy dreams at school.  You were 
     the last person in the world I ever thought would become a minister.
JB:  I had to waste a lot of time failing at a lot of things before I 
     had guts enough to admit it, to myself, much less the world.
CM:  Why? 
JB:  I never thought I could cut it. 
CM:  What made you decide to try, Jerry?
JB;; I figured if I was going to fail I might as well fail at something 
     care deeply about. 
CM:  Are you ever deeply frightened.  I mean, now?
JB:  Don't you hear my knees knocking.  That's why I always envied you
CM:  Me?
JB:  Never had any doubt.  Never let anything side-track you.
CM:  Jerry, I'm here not only sidetradcked.  I'm derrailed.  I came back 
     to Peyton Place hoping for something.  A normalcy.  A feeling of 
     continuation.  Now I have that chance.  Dr. Burgess has to leave 
     the hospital.  He is very sick.  I have been offered his job.  I'm 
     afraid to take it. 
JB:  Why?
CM;  Because I failed too.  Not like you, searchinf for something I 
     didn't think I was worthy of. 

CM:  I failed right where I knew I had to be.
JB:  Peru.
CM:  It was awful, Jerry.  I couldn't . . .  cut it.
JB:  Sometimes the whole world seems to be failing one way or another.  
     But if everyone who failed there wouldn't be a sole left.  There 
     wouldn't  be anything but ice.  Coward. 

JB:  Take my coward's hand.

     [Claire takes his hand.]

Episode 75, scene 6           HOME